GRAY WHALES!

Day 6 - Saturday, 12th February 2011

Today has been the best day of my life so far!! I'm so excited! It's been so wonderful! I'm bursting with 'stuff' and I can't go to bed because my mind is in over-drive!! I'm feeling really emotional and it's quite difficult to write at all!

I got up even earlier this morning, had a shower and was ready to face the day! It's still dark at that time (about 4.45am), but quite beautiful. I can't believe I'm getting up this early - usually only a dire emergency will drag me from my bed at that time. But, I don't want to miss a thing and it's all so wonderful! I can always catch up on sleep when I get home!
I had a coffee ( we've all got our own mugs with Gray Whales on them by the way) and went outside to catch some pre-dawn air. All the stars were still out and one of my fellow passengers, David, informed me that my star sign's (Scorpio) constellation is prominent in the sky at the moment. I'm sure that's significant somehow!! I got chatting to David and his partner Karin last night. They're a lovely couple. She's German, so I was pre-disposed to like her and he's from Northern Ireland originally. However, they both lived in Canada for a while, so both have these weird accents which are sometimes German (her), sometimes Northern Irish(him) with this strange Canadian twang! Co-incidentally, Karin is a Social Worker in Mental Health so does a very similar job to me!
It was nice spending quiet time outside in the early hours when there are only a few people up and about.
I had some toast and a banana for my breakfast today. Absolutely no sign of sea-sickness, just excitedness!!
We entered the San Ignacio Lagoon fairly early and moored up at a suitable spot. We saw whales around and about straight away and I, for one, couldn't wait to get in amongst them. I suspect that most of my fellow voyagers felt that way too!
We were taken out to see the whales by some of the local fishermen in their small fishing boats called Pangas. This ensures that contact with the whales is controlled and the fishermen are able to earn some money during the whale breeding season.
The gray whale mothers and their calves come to investigate the boats and often the mothers nudge their calves towards the boats so that you can touch them. We went out twice today and had some really close encounters, although I didn't quite get to touch one. I took some pictures, but I was so excited for most of the time, that I forgot my camera was there as I just wanted to absorb the experience. It was pretty overwhelming and I became very emotional. When we finally returned to the boat in the afternoon, JP (I'm sure that's it, although I still keep wanting to call him PJ) asked me how it had been and I told him I couldn't talk about it! I really couldn't, though. I had to go and have a quiet moment to myself outside on the front of the ship listening to my music because it all seemed too surreal to be true. I still feel like I'm in a dream and I'll wake up in a minute and I'll be back in real-life!
In the evening there was even an adult Gray Whale outside nudging our ship!! We had another lovely dinner tonight and another fascinating lecture.
I told Rachel that today had been the best day of my life and she thought that was great and bought me and some others a beer to celebrate! We had a great evening and I got chatting to a few of the other passengers properly including Trish and Leslie and Sonya and Tony.
Tomorrow we have another whole day here in the lagoon - I can't wait! It's so beautiful here and it was wonderful sitting out again listening to my music after dark! Rachel sat with me for a while and we star-gazed and put the world to rights!!
I hope I get to touch a whale tomorrow ( how many times will I get to say that in my life??!)

Our first Island

At Sea - Day 5. Friday, 11th February 2011

Today was another very eventful day - I already feel like I've been here a lifetime! Not sure whether that's a good thing or a bad thing at the moment!!
Today is the anniversary of Dad's death so I was thinking of him a lot today. I know he would have loved going on a trip like this. He just loved being out doors and visiting new places and new people - such a shame he never got the chance!
Today, we were at sea for much of the time. I got up a bit earlier this morning as I didn't sleep very well, so it was a but easier getting showered etc. However, I did feel quite queasy again this morning and, consequently, spent a lot of time outside. I did almost throw up, but after that incident felt absolutely fine and, as I write this, I'm feeling perfectly well.
One thing I have noticed today is that there are a lot of serious photographers with serious equipment on this boat - makes me feel rather inadequate, although I like to think it's not all about how big your lenses are etc!!
But the group seem really nice (I keep using that word don't I?), though I've yet to talk to everyone properly!
Anyway, today we stopped at some islands - our first Island stop. We were taken by skiffs to the island to look at and photograph Northern Elephant Seals. Just to explain - skiffs are the little boats which the boat has on board that can carry about six of us at a time to go and see things! It was a little hairy getting off from the boat into the skiffs, but we were ably man-handled by the crew so that we didn't fall over and make fools of ourselves!! I saw the other crew member today - his name is Brian - and apparently he's the second in command. He's a big bear of a man, but I can't say much about him yet other than that!
We were taken to the island where there was this tiny little fishing village populated (funnily enough) by a few fishermen! We set off to the Seal rookeries and Mark explained a few things to us about Elephant Seals - especially what to do if one charges at you. Apparently, you just run away in the opposite direction - which i think was pretty good advice!! However, we were able to get pretty close without disturbing them and take some good pics! I went off to explore on my own. It was getting quite hot, so I found a little shady spot to eat my packed lunch ( which we had all been provided with) and do a bit of reflection. It was good to go for a walk and stretch my legs properly. It was very wild and barren and very peaceful apart from the odd bark of the seals and the squawks of sea birds. I tried to take some dramatic pictures of waves crashing onto rocks, but I don't think they came out very well - I mean they look like they could have been taken just outside Bournemouth. They are a bit too non-specific! But it was a pleasant way to spend a couple of hours and I really enjoyed it! Some people then went snorkling - but I chose to be a wimp and took one of the offered skiff rides to take more pictures of seals - including Guadalupe Fur Seals. Our 'driver' was JD/PJ/JP/DJ who offered us good information on what we were looking at, although he does continue to eye me suspiciously - at least I think he does - it's difficult to know behind those shades!!
We were boarded by the Mexican Navy today and had to show them our passports etc. Maybe they thought we were smuggling drugs, or pirates or something!
I must just mention that the food continues to get better and better. My expectations for the veggie meals have been surpassed already. Dan is really imaginative in what he makes for us veggies and I expect my waistline to expand because the portion sizes are HUGE. I can't eat it all and have to keep apologising for leaving food. But it's really good. And good puddings too!! And there are snacks available to munch all the time and loads of fresh fruit. I'm grateful for the fruit as I've a tendency to snack and have generally chosen fruit if I feel the need to do this!
We had another lecture from Mark after dinner which was very informative again. Tomorrow we head to the San Ignacio Lagoon where we will (hopefully) encounter the Grey Whales - one thing I've really been looking forward to!!
Later on in the evening, I went out the back of the ship and listened to my iPod for a bit whilst looking at the wonderful stars. Although it's a long day, I just can't go to bed as early as most people because I'm a night-bird and I know I won't be able to sleep! So, thank God I brought my music!! It helps me calm my brain down after all the days' activities!!!

All at Sea

Day 4 - Thursday, 10th February 2011

Oh my God! We had to get up sooo early this morning! Rachel had warned us yesterday evening that one of the cooks would shout everyone awake at some un-Godly hour if they weren't already up and that you'd miss a cooked breakfast if you weren't up by a certain time. That was about 6am or something ridiculous!! Haven't they heard of jet-lag?? I think I mumbled something to Rachel about missing breakfast and she reassured me that they're a bit lenient on the first couple of days while everyone adjusts to the routine. I made my way upstairs and had a shower and felt a bit more human again. I only had a bowl of cereal and a coffee for my breakfast as I was already feeling slightly queasy from the swell of the boat during the night. Although we were moored at the Mexican border, the feeling was still there. As soon as I'd eaten, I made my way outside as I knew I'd feel better in the fresh air. It was a beautiful morning and there was little wind, so I knew our journey at sea today wouldn't be too bad. We left the harbour in the early morning and I took a few photos etc. There were quite a few of us outside, including Mark, when I spotted what I thought was a whale, surfacing in the water not far from the boat. I should explain, that Mark and Rachel had told us yesterday to point out anything we saw that might be of interest as, although the Captain and Crew were always on the look out, they might miss something - so always to say if we think we see something, just in case. Well, I thought I saw something, so I shouted out excitedly, 'Look- there's a whale!' Mark Carwardine, eminent Zoologist, followed my gaze and said, 'No, it's a patch of Seaweed' and walked away in disgust!! How stupid did I feel? Am going to keep my mouth shut in future before I become the laughing stock of this boat! (Actually, my friends would expect nothing less!)
Anyway, today was a chance to meet more of my fellow voyagers and some of the crew.
There are, I think, at least 4 other people who are on their own (3 women and a man) and all the rest seem to be either friends or couples. Still don't really know any names yet except for Doug and Jenny and Shirley and Alan - but I've told everyone I'm rubbish at remembering names it it will probably take me the entire length of the trip to possibly remember them all!
I think Rachel said there are 7 crew, but I haven't met them all yet. There are the two cooks - Dan and Gary (I think) and Gary looks like a cross between Bill Oddie and my Uncle George in Germany. He has laughing eyes! Then there's Captain Mike who we met yesterday and whom I've only seen briefly popping in and out to the loo etc. Then a crew member called JP (or was it PJ or JD??) introduced himself to me. The first thing he told me (apart from his name which, simple though it is, I'm already having trouble with!) is that he had a girlfriend back home! I must have looked like I was lusting after him or something! God, I hope I wasn't looking like that because I really wasn't lusting after him! I mean, he's not bad looking in a very cool Californian way, but not my type at all ( not that I have a type really) and besides, I'm not on this trip for lusting after hunky crew members. I'm here for very different reasons! (I must remember to repeat that mantra if it becomes necessary later on!!) I also met JD/JP/JD/PJ's buddy called Matt (I think) who was very cute but far too young for me anyway and another crew member called Scott who has this mane of hair and reminded me a bit of Dennis Hopper in Easy Rider - but he seems very sweet and quick to offer help and advice. There is, apparently, another one but I haven't met him yet.
We were sailing today, but already have seen loads of things including, Harbour Seals and Elephant Seals, loads and loads (possibly thousands, Mark told us) of Dolphins - Common, Rissos and White-Sided (I'm learning so much already!!) and a Fin Whale! My first Fin Whale! The second largest whale on the planet! It was ever so exciting and has already made this holiday well worth while! Even if we don't see Blue Whales, I can say that I've seen the second largest whale which is pretty impressive in itself!!
After dinner, we had our first lecture from Mark. No, he wasn't telling us off - it was a proper lecture - just like being back at University, only more relaxed and without all the difficult assignments!! This will be happening each evening after dinner to tell us all about where we're going and what we'll be seeing etc. Very informative I must say! Tonight we watched the Blue Whale episode of 'Last Chance to See' and got a bit of goss on Stephen Fry!! It was interesting to hear some behind the scenes stuff, but I'm sure Mark writes about some of it in the book as I recall. So, we know what's happening tomorrow - we've been shown where we expect to go tomorrow, although, apparently it's quite fluid because we might spot a huge number of Blue Whales or something and have to stop and watch them longer than expected. I think that's just wishful thinking!
I did feel quite sea-sick today, despite taking the tablets, but I suppose that's all part and parcel of finding your sea-legs. I don't think sleeping in that stuffy cabin helps, although it's very comfortable and I did manage to sleep last night despite the engine noise (even with ear plugs!) I'm sure it's just an evolving process and I'll be a proper good sailor in a few days!! I'm still loving it despite the queasiness. The sky at night is amazing! I've never seen stars like it and the moon too! It's so clear! If I could, I'd take pictures of it, but I know that without a tripod etc, it'll just come out black which won't be very interesting at all!! I'll just have to write poetic lines and hope the image comes across! And don't get me started on the sunset! That was amazing too! This is already mind-blowing! Let's just hope it keeps getting better and better!!

San Diego, Day 3

Wednesday, 9th February 2011

Woke up with knots in my stomach feeling very nervous and excited about what the day would bring! I had a shower and I thought - 'Enjoy this, Deb, because it might be the last luxury you have for a while' I think I was right - but I'll explain later!!
I went down to the breakfast room, but I still didn't feel that hungry, so I got myself a Danish Pastry and a coffee. As a few people came in, I introduced myself to them and a few of us got chatting which was nice. They all seemed like lovely people ( which I knew they would be really). We had to go over to Mitch's Seafood Restaurant at 09.30 to meet with Mark and Rachel and the rest of the party. I walked over with a couple of the couples I had met in the breakfast room. It was a glorious day, weather-wise, and already seemed really hot. I'm starting to worry about whether I'll cope in the heat. What if my arm swells up? I'll just have to watch it, that's all. It's strange hearing all these American accents around and about. I know it's America, but it's still strange at the moment!
Anyway, we went over to Mitch's where we were having a Welcome Brunch. I met Mark Carwardine!! He sat with us whilst we had our brunch ( I still wasn't that hungry, so only had some fruit and a pastry and loads of coffee again!) He seems ever so nice and very laid back. He was working the room very well indeed. We also met Rachel, the other Expedition Leader who, it turns out, is also my cabin-mate! I'm glad I'm sharing with her because she seems very relaxed and easy going and will hopefully be able to put up with all my burping, snoring and farting during the night! Actually, our minute cabin is right by the ship's engine which is pretty loud, so I think it'll hide a multitude of sins!!
Mark and Rachel gave us a run-down of what will be happening over the next 12 days and then we were left to spend the rest of the day at our leisure meeting at the hotel at 6pm to go to the boat!!
I hooked up with one of the other couples - Shirley and Alan - and we walked over to this huge store that sold everything you could possibly want for your sailing trip - including waterproof camera bags etc. Just about all our lot were there buying stuff for the trip. I just bought this bright pink t-shirt with fish on it because I liked it!!
After a brief pause back at the hotel, I went into San Diego with Shirley and Alan and another couple called Doug and Jenny. We had a look around the Gaslamp Quarter of San Diego and then took the tram to the Old Town. This was a little like a theme park, but free and was actually very interesting. All too soon we had to make our way back to the hotel. Part of me was a bit disappointed because I would like to have seen a bit more of San Diego. Still, I reckon I got a small slice of American Pie. If I ever do this again, I'll arrange to stay a couple of days in San Diego before hand to have a really good look around and acclimatise - although I don't feel too tired at the moment. I think I'm still too excited, actually!!
We went back to the hotel and Rachel and Mark led us to our boat which was moored in the Marina. We had been told earlier that we would not be able to use the loos on the boat until we were under way ( which wasn't going to be until about 10pm) so of course I wanted to go to the loo straight away!! It was ok, though, because we could pop out to use the loos outside Mitch's if we wanted to! Just outside, there were a few feral cats which I tried to make friends with, but they were having none of it!
We had a buffet supper on the boat and met our Captain who's called Mike. He seems very cool. He gave us a very brief health and safety talk, then disappeared again!! The food, by the way, seems great. The buffet was very comprehensive - although there wasn't much for veggies apart from salad, eggs and cheese. But I still wasn't that hungry - and was also anticipating sea-sickness - so didn't have that much.
I must mention the cabins! They really are tiny. Only just big enough for very narrow bunks ( good job I lost all that weight) and very limited storage space! I see now why Rachel told us to bring not-very large cases and make sure they were flexible! It'll be interesting to see how I cope in that confined space!
We have 4 loos between us all and 3 showers. I suspect that competition for these will be intense, so I may need to devise a strategy for this!
But, generally, the boat seems fine. Haven't really had a chance to explore properly yet, but I'm sure that will come over the coming days.
We left San Diego at about 10pm ish and had been told by Rachel and Mark that there was a good photo opportunity on our way out of the harbour. Local fishermen store their fish above which are these platforms where various birds and seals hang out, hoping to catch some stray fish. It was all lit-up so there were possibilities to take some interesting photos. I tried, but I don't think mine will come out very well due to the low-light.
I got to meet most of my fellow passengers one way or another, but I can't remember any names yet, so cannot make any comments! Will write more tomorrow!

Coming to America! Day two.

Tuesday, 8th February 2011
On the flight from Heathrow to Los Angeles

Oh my God! I'm on an aeroplane!! Who would have thought it - me on an aeroplane?
I can't believe it myself!! We're going through a bit of turbulence at the moment. The Captain has turned the seat belt sign on. Well, I'm certainly staying put! I did take a Valium whilst on the departure lounge at Heathrow, but I think that was more to do with coping with the departure lounge! These women kept pouncing on me trying to sell me cosmetics and perfume!! I must have looked like I needed it!!
I must be doing ok, because before I would have broken out into a cold sweat at this point, be shaking and have consumed at least 5 double brandies. But, I'm actually feeling ok. I've been enjoying the food on the plane, drunk numerous coffees and have just watched 'The Social Network' on the movie channel!! I might watch the Harrison Ford one in a minute as there's only 5 hours to go.....!

Later....in San Diego......

Can you believe it! I'm in America!! I'm sitting in my hotel room in San Diego enjoying a cup of coffee from the machine in the room.
I got to Los Angeles no real problem. I did get a bit nervous on landing, but it was all fine. It took a while to get through security as expected and I managed to get my connecting flight to San Diego no problem. The plane on this leg was a little commuter plane that only seats about 30 people and I was quite nervous on this flight because it was dark and you could feel every little bump. But the flight only took just over half an hour and I was very relieved to finally get there!! When I'd picked up my bags, I got a cab to the hotel ( ooh, my first experience of an American Cab - he was a very pleasant driver) and checked into my room.
It's a very nice, big room. It's got one big double bed and another HUGE double bed!! I've decided to sleep in the HUGE double bed - just because I can!! I'm too tired to eat really, so I grabbed a chocolate bar from the vending machine and that'll do me until breakfast. I'm going to have a nice long bath and then hopefully I'll be refreshed for the morning.......

Day One - Edwardian Radisson Hotel, Heathrow

Monday, 7th February 2011

So, here I am sitting in this nice hotel in my nice hotel room - at Heathrow Airport!! I'm getting on a plane tomorrow and I'm going to America!! I still can't believe it's really happening! Annie just texted me to wish me luck and my friend Sarah phoned and started crying because she was so happy for me! Mind you, she cries at anything, Sarah, so I'm not taking too much notice of that!
Marilyn gave me a lift to the hotel, so I treated her to dinner here before she left. I got quite emotional when she left - some of those old feelings that I might not see her or anyone else again if anything goes wrong!! I told her to tell Denis and Rupert that I love them very much and she said she'd look in on them ( Claire's actually looking after them).
Am trying to distract myself with TV and rubbish mags but it's not really working, Have tried repacking my case and now I can't do it up, so I'll tackle it again in a bit. Keep re-checking that I have all the correct documentation. Have texted Claire to pop in and check I haven't left the immersion on at home. God! I've now developed OCD - another thing to add to my list of anxieties!! Don't reckon I'll sleep much tonight, but I guess I'll give this a rest for now and see how it goes......

The Challenge!

Ok, I should explain that my cancer was an aggressive one which had already spread to the lymph nodes in my left armpit. These also had to be removed which means I now have a dodgy left arm! Basically, it has no immune system so the slightest scratch or bite can be really serious. I have to have a supply of anti-biotics at the ready just in case! Although I am currently cancer-free, I do have to have regular check-ups to make sure all is ok, because it could return. They'll sign me off after 10 years providing all is ok.
So, in 2009, I was beginning to feel something like my old self again. I knew I had to do something to change my life, but I didn't know what.
Then, the most extraordinary events started to unfold.......
I saw a programme on the telly called 'Last Chance to See' with Stephen Fry and this bloke called Mark Carwardine who is a Zoologist, Writer and Photographer. I was fascinated. It was all about searching out endangered animals and highlighting their plight. The last episode was about the Blue Whale - an animal which had always fascinated me - from childhood when my Dad took me to see the giant model at The Natural History Museum. I bought the book of the series, which was so brilliantly written, I was moved to write to it's author ( Mark Carwardine) and tell him how wonderful it was. I received a letter from his manager, Rachel, who told me about a trip that Mark runs - going whale and dolphin-watching in Baja, California Mexico and why didn't I go on this trip????
Well, I thought, there are many reasons why I can't go on this trip!! One, it cost a lot of money and I am a poorly-paid NHS outreach worker; two, I had this chronic fear of flying! I should explain that my two surviving brothers live in Germany, along with the rest of my family and my annual visits all had to be done on the North Sea ferry going from Harwich to Esbjerg ( a rocky 19hr journey). I had flown many years before a few times, but each time my fear got worse and worse, to the point where I just couldn't do it any more. Yes, my father was surely turning in his grave!!!
I talked to my best friend about it. 'I can't do this' I said,'I can't even do the hour's flight to Hamburg!' My best friend was disgusted at me.'This is the experience of a lifetime,' she said,'you may even get to see a Blue Whale - something which has always fascinated you- you cannot pass this chance up! Do whatever it takes - remortgage and get some therapy!'
I mulled all this over for a while and emailed Rachel and told her I'd do it!!
My God! Luckily, I also have a friend who had recently re-trained as an NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Therapist and he said he'd help me with the flying thing.
I phoned my sister-in-law, Annie, widow of my deceased brother and told her what I was going to do. She burst into tears on the phone. 'Your brother would have been so proud of you for doing this,' she said. 'Ok,' I said,'I'm going to do it for him.' And so the wheels were set in motion.......
It had been a momentous decision for me. Getting myself into debt and trying to overcome my fear of flying. Also, with numerous physical difficulties as a result of my treatment, I wasn't sure I'd be able to do it.
Fatefully, at this time, I also developed Pancreatitis as a result of Gallstones and had to be rushed into hospital on New Year's Day 2010 for an emergency removal of the Gall Bladder. My time in hospital then gave me more time to reflect and made me more determined than ever to do this!!
During my Pancreatitis, I had lost a stone and the weight continued to come off - with a little help from Weight-Watchers and also my body beginning to return to normal after the final effects of the Tamoxifen had begun to wear off!! And so I began to scrimp and save and started my Hypnotherapy for the flying....
I didn't believe for a moment that it would work, and went to see my GP demanding Valium as a back up. He was happy to give this to me - anything to get me out of his surgery, I think!!!
In the run up to the trip, I was filled with more and more doubts - would the therapy work? Would I be able to get on with a bunch of strangers within the confines of a small boat? Would I fit in in America? Would they let me in? I'd only ever been to Europe before? Would America be too much for me? Would my dodgy arm cope with an 11-hour flight? ( My Lymphodaema Nurse, who looks after my dodgy arm informed me that it might balloon during such a long flight. So, I had to wear my compression sleeve for my arm during the flight and also a tight-fitting glove on the hand of that arm as the hand was likely to swell-up too. 'But people will think I'm a weirdo like Michael Jackson!!' I protested.'Wear the sunglasses to complete the look then,' was all she said, simply!)
In the days running up to the holiday, more and more doubts filled my head. I was determined to do it, but I didn't want to arrive in America a mental and physical wreck!
I had decided to stay overnight at a hotel at Heathrow the night before the mid-morning flight so that I wouldn't have the added stress of worrying about making it to Heathrow on the dreaded M25 on time.... and this is where my diary starts. I wrote it in a journal from the time I spent at the hotel. I have had to ask some of my fellow travellers, post holiday, to help me fill in some of the details of names, places etc as, often in my excitement, I would forget these details. So, some post-holiday editing has taken place, but it's generally as it was when I wrote it so....enjoy....!!!